I’d been Locked Up Abroad for too long, in a town where there was no Law and Order, just Criminal Minds. There wasn’t even a General Hospital – and as a Survivor of this amazing Race, I depended on a few Madmen who operated Under the Dome. They were Petty Little Liars and wore Suits. I was sure there was some Arrested Development between these Two and a Half Men.
Why someone thought I was worthy of a Burn Notice was beyond me. I wasn’t an American Idol, never worked for NCIS or Parks and Recreation. I was only Being Human and too often felt Grimm. This was quickly becoming an American Horror Story.
I never thought I’d be a Person of Interest or start a Revolution, much less seek Revenge by starting a Chicago Fire. My mind was Breaking Bad, there was no Glee in Keeping Up With the Kardashians or the Bachelorette. This whole affair was started by Two Broke Girls who had sold their Castle and reported to someone named, Dexter.
They lived in trailer park in Nashville while writing the Vampire Diaries, it was Elementary to them if they caused a Scandal, they felt Justified as they Only Had One Life to Live.
I wandered about like The Walking Dead as I passed through a place called, Cougar Town. A place filled with Bunheads. This was not anything like Portlandia where Spartacus and Nurse Jackie both wore a White Collar and attended Anger Management classes. I tried to call The Office, to speak to my only trusted contact on The Mindy Project, Nikita. Luther was Shameless and told me a Supernatural Masterpiece which bordered on the Fringe of insanity. More lies about the Sons of Anarchy.
The Good Wife had gone into Private Practice with Dr. Oz – somewhere in Southland or in the zip code, 90210. Even with Necessary roughness, I knew I could never find out where they were hiding.
All I ever wanted to be was a Family Guy, now I seemed to be showing up on The Daily Show, Jimmy Kimmel Live and the Colbert Report. The Newsroom couldn’t get enough of me. The day of Covert Affairs was over and I knew there might not be any Happy Endings for me. I made an appoint with Frasier and took a Taxi to visit my Happy Days at Cheers with those Golden Girls. Living in the past seemed to be my only salvation. This had become my, So-Called Life.